Counselor Evelynn Questions

Counselor Evelynn

Guide to Help

Dear Counselor Evelynn,

When we were first dating, my boyfriend and I would spend hours talking and being close after sex, now he turns over and falls asleep almost immediately. How do I bring back the intimacy? -L Soine

Trust me, my dear, every women reading this can relate to this age-old concern. Men work very hard at intimacy at the beginning of relationships, but tend to become complacent during the next (less romantic, more comfortable) phase in the relationship. It tends to fall on the women, who are more in touch with their emotions, to bring the romance back into the relationship. True intimacy is vital to keep a relationship alive and connected. I would suggest lighting some candles and trying Sensual Massage as a prelude to sex. Touch is a very strong form of intimacy. Thirty minutes of massage and quiet talking can make a couple feel truly connected on a spiritual level. If you do this as a prelude to sex, then when it is over you can both feel satisfied and fall asleep feeling happy and close.

Single Affair.com

Dear Counselor Evelynn,

I always seem to fall for men who aren't right for me. There will be a strong and powerful attraction for a few weeks, and then suddenly we wake up and realize that we have nothing in common. How do I find and attract a man who will be right for me long term? -J Smith

As you have discovered, physical and sexual chemistry between the sexes can be very powerful, blocking out ones better judgment. My advice to you would be to plan the specific types of places you will flirt with a potential mate. If you love to read, then don't wear your sweats and no make-up when you go the bookstore. This might be the perfect place to meet someone with an interest in common. If you like skiing, concentrate on places such as ski swaps. I am also an advocate for online dating. These sites give you a chance to read profiles from the privacy of you own home, and to write a profile that best describes who you are. The trick is to find a like-minded person before sexual chemistry has a chance to kick in and block your good judgment.... But always remember to keep safety in mind when meeting people online.

Dr. Hans Rauk PHD page

Love Links

Bi Fun Seekers.com

Dear Counselor Evelynn,

I belong to a number of dating sites and while I get a lot of emails off my profile, the quality is very poor. I get a lot of nude photos, one line emails, and more often than not-just plain lame responses. I am attractive, have a nice photo in my ads, and have written a lot about me in the profile section. I have enclosed a list (please do not publish) of the sites I belong to and my screen names…can you offer any advice to how I can get QUALITY responses and actually meet someone?
- J Kim

Welcome to one of the downsides of online dating. The good news is there are ways to get a better quality of response. First review your profile and make sure there are no sexually leading passages. Keep it to the point and focus on the qualities you have to offer and what you are seeking in a partner. Make sure to balance just enough information to generate responses but yet weed out what you don’t want (without being negative in your profile). From the list of dating sites you sent me I can also make a suggestion…forget them! Two are totally free and the other two are join free but pay later. Face it, anyone who joins a free site is NOT a serious online dater. Over 86% of free members never come back after they sign up and the ones that are left send out form letters, one-liners, and inappropriate photos. For men, these types of sites are entertainment-not a tool to seek out a relationship. Look for smaller online dating sites with a pay membership. When someone pays for something, they place a higher value on it and the effort they put into it. If you want a list of smaller dating sites you can check out GuideToPersonals.com and I wish you well.

Younger Older.com

Dear Counselor Evelynn,

Help! My boyfriend leaves every Saturday to play golf with his friends. I am too young to be a "Golf Widow", what should I do? -K Sexton

The vast majority of men, for whatever reason, Love the game of golf. My advice to all women is to learn to play golf, plus it can be a fun way to spend the afternoon with your mate and your friends. You don't have to be good at it and you don’t have to go every weekend, but when you do, I would dab on just a bit of an erotic perfume and let your sexiest lingerie peek out of your golf attire. This will keep reminding your boyfriend that you will be seeking something much more intimate when the round is through

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Dear Counselor Evelynn:

I've recently met a man who I'm crazy about. He's fun and good looking and the chemistry between us is unbelievable. The problem is that I'm 23 and he's 39. Is he too old for me? -EP

If two adult people enjoy each other and enjoy the same interests, then age shouldn't be a factor. In fact May-December relationship can be extremely exciting and funfilled. I would only ask that you remember that he's had many more years of life and therefore more possibilities for emotional baggage. Does he have an ex-wife? Kids? Not that these should mean that you cannot have a fabulous relationship, but you should think about them early on. These types of relationships can be awkward for family members, especially children

Dear Counselor Evelynn,

I am attracted to a guy who works in my building. I have been trying to strike up a conversation, but he seems kind of quiet and shy. What should I do? -G Rogers

I would try talking about sports. Even the most shy and quiet guy can become animated when discussing his favorite teams. If that works, I would buy tickets and invite him to a local sporting event. Sporting events can be a casual, fun and comfortable place to get to know someone. If sports are not your thing, consider this fact…men love it when asked to do a favor for a woman. You might want to ask him to fix a leaky pipe, hang a picture or help move a couch. This allows you both to begin a conversation in a casual unthreatening manner.

Have a questions for Counselor Evelynn? Then email her at:
CounselorEvelynn@yahoo.com